Fair Day

Today, my mood's not that good. I was so pissed dis morning when i went to the ktm. No mood to talk to weng hun and lynn. I'm not angry with either of them..just myself..something's wrong with me today. I went to kl sentral..feeling so uneasy and pissed off i went away without waiting for them..Later, i refused to go to MIB..so i told lynn to go MIB first, i'll go later..by then, i choose the walk back home. When i arrived at kepong ktm i saw mun seng's van..by the time i walked down, he drove away..he didnt saw me..then when i walked to the taxi station there, i saw his van again..i don't know and not sure whether did he saw me or not..i think he didn't..so i walked home. After arriving home, i made myself a large plate of spaggetti, tofu desserts left in the fridge, carlsberg, roasted duck and ate it..i ate and ate until my mood gets better. Now, i feel much more better..watched a dvd..and now feel like sleeping..i'm felt so sorry to jessi, lynn, weng hun and poon shun. They didn't do anything wrong to me..and i expressed my feelings and anger on them..i shouldn't do that to them..i'll make them feel worry and confused..why am i like that? EWhat should i do tomorrow and explain what happened to me? Jessi, i didn't do it in purpose that i rejected your call..Just now at that time, i really want to be alone..i don't feel like answering or replying any messages since i'm having a dramatic mood swing..For god sake, i hope tomorrow will be fine and i hope i won't act like today so moody and angry..I shouldn't have put my anger and sjhow my feelings out as i know it'll turn out bad. I'm really so deeply sorry about what i've done and happened to me today,yesterday, and the last previous day. I'm being so sentitive and emotional nowadays. I myself am trying to figure out what's actually happening on me..before i got the answer i hope i can still control much of my feelings and anger..trying to control from today onwards..trying to control myself by not becoming so sensitive to anything inclluding love, friendships and toward my sisters and cousins..they're not my enemies..if i continue to be like that, i know that my depreesion is getting worse to worst..i know that..what i should do now is to control. The word CONTROL to me is important.. i don't want to hurt anyone except myself..they are victims..so i shouldn't have treat anyone arond me like that..i shouldn't..i hope there's someone that can be by myside to support me and help me control part of my feelings?? I'm sorry everyone..please forgive what i've done recently..i don't mean what i've done..i hope you guys can understand..honestly, i've nothing to stress so i don't really know and sure what's going on with me..sorry, very sorry..