Fair day

I'm not feeling so good today..mostly is because my predictions came out true..i knew this will happen..i knew one day there'll be something between the both of them. The major reason why i had this bad feeling in me these days is all because he lied..he told me that he's back to single dosen't mean he's available..and rejected my request..but in the other hand, he started with her..I'm just like an idiot..why's are all these things happening to me? First is edison, second is sean, third is david yan..why my relationship wif them can't last long? what do i need? i'm trying to appreceiate what i have from now on already bt why is it still happening? Is gemini life's like that? so miserable..fullof depressions..love, friends and even family..i'm so sick and tired of it..It's really very hard for me telling myself where and what am i facing now..what i only know is my heart is aching so badly..i wanted to fall with tears..bt i sweared to myself i wont be doing it again..it's tiring..and it's really too much..i really do love edison, bt what can i do..since we're apart, our relationship wouldn't be long..so what i can do is to let him go..bt after i did that, after knewing he found another partner, i congratulate him with an ached heart.., sean, i do love him as well, bt after hearing him telling me tha he wanted to move to taylor, i lose hope on him..although yes, he has a car, he can drive his car all the way to my place and meet me..but i noe this wont last long..before anything deeply hurt happen, i brokeup with him..once i wanted him to be right by myside again..he told me that yeah, he's single bt nt available..but then he started another relationship wif her.. David, a nice guy, sweet guy, but i judt dont understand him well, maybe bcz of this i broke up wif him..After all these, i began to lose interest on guys do u know that..because it mades me thinks that all guys are the same, just different appearance..it also makes me to reject people who loves me..this feeling arised from these problems..so i would like to apologize to those i've rejected..but please do understand me...maybe i just need time..a very long time to get rid of this..maybe 2 years, 5 years or maybe more..Looking at other couples i may sometimes feel envy..but it dosent ean im ready to open up myself..